


Cradle and All

by Mixxy



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Discussions of parenting, Drabble, Fluff, M/M, Positive Cecilos Fic Drive, SO MUCH FLUFF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:36:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1396603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixxy/pseuds/Mixxy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carlos paused in the doorway, brow furrowed with concern. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet tonight.”</p>
<p>“I’m fine.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure? You know you can talk-”</p>
<p>“You want a baby,” Cecil blurted out, sitting up stiffly.</p>
<p>Or, the one where Cecil and Carlos finally have a talk about the future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cradle and All

**Author's Note:**

> My part of the "let's contribute healthy relationship fics" movement

“Cecil, don’t look now, but your boyfriend is being adorable.”

Cecil lowered the drink from his lips, looking over. The radio station’s annual we-haven’t-been-sucked-into-the-void party was usually a pretty enjoyable affair, but even better now that he had a plus-one. “Isn’t he always?”

“Yeah, but now he’s extra-cute. Look.”

He had to crane his head to see where Dana was pointed, but when he did, he realized what she was talking about. Carlos was holding Adeelah’s newborn- Cecil had seen pictures when she got back from maternity leave- and the mother was beaming proudly as Carlos shifted the baby to hold it against his hip.

Cecil couldn’t make out what he was saying, but he was obviously cooing to the child happily. He waved the fingers of his free hand in front of the baby and when it gripped his index finger with a tiny hand a look of pure wonderment spread across his perfect face.

“Oh, isn’t that _sweet_?” Dana said, pressing a hand to her chest. “Look at that!” Cecil just averted his eyes and took another drink, only to be elbowed by her a second later. “Cecil! Come on! You gush every time he combs his hair, how can you not be absolutely enthralled over this?”

“It’s just a kid,” Cecil said, shrugging. “I’m gonna go refill.”

At the punch bowl, he surreptitiously snuck a look back over at Carlos. He was still holding the baby, who was now gumming at the lapel of his labcoat, though he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was talking animatedly with Adeelah.

Cecil was glad when the party was over. It was too loud and crowded for him. “It was nice to meet your coworkers,” Carlos said brightly as he hung up his coat. “Your sound tech really knows what he’s talking about!”

“That he does,” Cecil said absently, falling back into the couch.

Carlos paused in the doorway, brow furrowed with concern. “Are you okay? You’ve been quiet tonight.”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? You know you can talk-”

“You want a baby,” Cecil blurted out, sitting up stiffly.

Carlos’ mouth fell open, and he stood there for a second, staring at Cecil. “What?”

“You want a baby. You want children,” Cecil muttered, crossing his arms tightly. “I saw you with Adeelah’s kid. You looked…you looked so happy. Like you’d always wanted that.”

Carlos walked over and gingerly sat next to him. “Yes,” he said, choosing his words carefully, “I have always wanted children. Does it…make you upset?”

“Yeah, a little. I _don’t_ want to have kids, Carlos. But I’d…I’d rather not lose you, either.”

“Oh. Oh, Cecil.” Carlos wrapped his arms around him and Cecil allowed himself to relax against the warmth of his boyfriend’s chest. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything to keep me, okay? Please don’t ever feel like that.”

Silence- a comfortable silence- fell, and Cecil burrowed in closer, hugging Carlos back. “Cecil?”

“Hm?”

“Can I ask why? I’m just curious. Is it just a feeling, or is it your career, or what? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but-”

“I just.” Cecil sighed, pulling away from Carlos. “Carlos, this is _Night Vale_. Do you know…do you know how many people I lost growing up? How many friends, and schoolmates? I can’t…” He bit his lip, taking a moment to gather his thoughts. Carlos slipped his hand into Cecil’s and that went a long way into calming him down. “I don’t think I could handle having a child- and loving them so much- and losing them. I can’t do that.”

“But you love me. And you might lose me.”

“I almost did, and it almost killed me.” Cecil turned, taking Carlos’ other hand as well. “I didn’t have a choice with you- you showed up, and I fell in love. But I have a choice here.”

“And you’d rather choose to not love, so it can’t hurt?”

Cecil frowned, looking away. “You, and Khoshekh…Earl…Dana…Carlos, I’m _so tired_ to losing the people I love. I can’t imagine…it’s not that I couldn’t love a child, I know I would, especially our child. I’d love them so much. And it’s not just that, it’s- what if I can’t do it? What if I’m like my mother, and I just can’t be the parent my child needs, no matter how hard I try? What if you’re like my father, and it’s just too much for you, and you leave, and then I’m alone with the kid, and-”

“Hey. Hey.” Carlos cupped the side of his face, rubbing his thumb in comforting circles. “Calm down, alright? We’re just talking.”

Cecil exhaled slowly, leaning against Carlos, humming softly at the hands carding through his hair. “Yeah.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a wonderful father.  And I wouldn’t leave you like that, okay? I’d never abandon you and our child. I wouldn’t.”

For a minute, they just stayed there, cuddling, thinking separate thoughts. “What about a dog?”

Cecil pushed himself away. “What?”

“You’re scared to love something in Night Vale. I get it. And you’re scared you might not be able to parent right. So, what about a test run? A dog.”

“A dog…Like a double wolf?”

“…No.”

“Secret terrier?”

“No, like a- like a golden retriever or something.”

Cecil nodded slowly. “A little unorthodox, but maybe.”

“And- you know that if you don’t want to have kids at the end of the day I’m not going to be upset, right? I mean, test runs and all, this is a mutual decision. I’m not going to try and convince you. I don’t want to have kids because you think that it will make me happy.”

Cecil smiled, and brought Carlos’ hand up to press a kiss to the back of it. “Let’s see where we are in the future. We’ve got plenty of time.”

Carlos kissed the corner of his mouth until the smile turned into a grin. “And I wouldn’t want to spend it with anyone else.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I put out two fics in two days good lord
> 
> Haha this sucks really bad but I wanted to put out something fluffy don't look at me seriously don't.
> 
> Also my fic ratio was like 1 fluff to 7 kinky sex fics so I'm like "ehhh maybe fix this"
> 
> I have a WTNV fic blog [here](http://floating-cats.tumblr.com) if you're interested. I post about fics, sneak peeks, reblog a ton of fan art, and chat with fans. Stop on by.


End file.
